It was called the “City Tour & Grand Palace” but was essentially entirely at the Grand Palace, which was fine because there was plenty to see. We hopped in a private van and took a short ride to start the tour and we got our first glimpses of the active streets of Bangkok. They’re lined with markets and full of taxis and thuk-thuks which are the motorbike-style taxis that are common here and generally more expensive (especially for unsuspecting tourists). It’s easy to lose track of how much you’re spending here because everything’s so cheap and the prices are so different. The conversion rate was at 30 Thai Baht per America dollar and you could get a good meal for about 200 Baht. Anyway, the palace was beautiful and extremely intricate (and I can’t overemphasize this point enough) – the temples were totally decorated with gold leaf and jewels and the interior walls were covered with detailed paintings. They had staff on the grounds that are constantly cleaning and maintaining the temples and statues. A long time ago this was also home to the King of Thailand, but now the only activity is the ramped tourism along with many Buddhist monks worshipping in the temples and occasional political events.

It is a very sacred and holy place to the Thai people, so there was a military shed on the grounds as well as several specialized, white-uniformed guards were at the gates to certain areas of the King’s Palace. They also enforced a dress code that required the knees and shoulders to be covered at all times. I was okay with the automatic rifles, but wearing denim jeans in Thailand during their hottest days of the year was nearly unbearable for me. The 90+ degree temperature wasn’t as bad as the 95% humidity which made it pretty much impossible for me to stop sweating. The sun and lack of air flow between the un-air-conditioned buildings just intensified the affect, but I came to Thailand mentally prepared for a change in climate, so I handled it alright. Also, I could look forward to the air-conditioned rides in the van between stops on the tour where they would provide us with ice-cold, wet towellettes. Anyway, the grounds were absolutely packed, because as I mentioned in a previous blog ages ago, this was a day before the three day, annual Water Festival celebration. It’s a celebration of the Thai New Year which is based off the life and death of Siddhartha Buddha (rather than in the way of the conventional Christian calendar system – although this is still obviously acknowledged as the standard format). Many Thai people had already begun their vacations at this point, and in addition to the many tourists who visit the grounds daily, there were a lot of people. One of the first temples we entered (which, like all the temples, we had to take our hats and footwear off to enter) was home to the second largest “reclining” Buddha statue in Thailand. It was completely covered in gold leaf and was very impressive, especially considering its age and intricacy. Again, the walls, floors, and ceiling were all decorated with detailed paintings and artwork – even the feet of the Buddha had symmetrical, granite designs.

One of the next temples we entered allowed no photography and is called The Royal Monastery of the Emerald Buddha. Inside is a large throne of gilded-carved wood on top of which is the sacred jade Buddha that carries with it a long history that began in 1434, when it was first discovered. Three times a year, at the change of seasons, a ceremony presided over by the King occurs where the Buddha’s costume is changed according to the upcoming season (Summer, Rainy Season, and Winter). After completing our tour of the Grand Palace, we made our way to another temple nearby that’s made from imported Italian marble to ensure its longevity. It was at this point that we first encountered evidence of the political riots which were taking place at the time. Across the creek from the Marble temple were red shirts hanging out to dry (probably from protestors camping in the area), which is the color of the demonstrators in support of the previously ousted Prime Minister. The opposition (yellow shirts) was in support of the current Prime Minister and the country has been divided for quite a while. There was supposed to be an annual Asian summit meeting in Bangkok while we were here, but it was cancelled due to the demonstrators’ occupation of the areas surrounding the capital building. I’m sure the American media had a field day, but things weren’t as bad as they seemed. Bangkok is an ENORMOUS city, so it was relatively easy to avoid trouble if you kept your eyes open and used some common sense.
The last stop of this particular tour was at a little tourist trap, gem factory. I found it very funny, since it really didn’t have anything to do with Thai culture or the tour itself, but was obviously a common destination for foreign white tourists on these little tours. We were immediately escorted to a side room which contained a small screen and informational video about the gems this place produced, how they were mined, polished, and incorporated into the various items they sold. They gave us some complimentary sodas and upon finishing the video, literally escorted us around the shop. As we left the room, I looked back to see a new small group of white tourists being ushered in behind us.

We were obviously not very interested in purchasing anything here, but we actually ran into some friends from back in Sydney who also live at UniLodge – this kind of thing has just kept happening since leaving the US, and it continues to amaze me. On the way back to the hotel, we saw more armed military personnel along the streets in addition to a large police outpost located at one of the intersections peripherally to the demonstration. That night we took a taxi ride to the busy CBD and visited a tailor that had been recommended to us by one of our neighbors in UniLodge (Dave from previous post), because his brother, Sanny, owns the place. He was very hospitable offering us free drinks and food as we browsed some catalogues and the selection of fabrics that lined the shop walls. On the way downtown another random encounter involved us seeing the cab driver that had given us a ride to our hotel from the airport the previous night, which is the equivalent to randomly seeing the same cab driver in LA that you had the prior night. Anyway, we had decided before leaving Australia to get suits or at least a couple tailored goods during our visit, since Thailand is known for its cheap tailoring and along with the favorable conversion rate and our connection to the owner, made for an amazing deal. I ended up choosing two fabrics for suits and two more for dress shirts. For a total of approximately US$400 I got linen and poly-fiber cotton fitted suits, two dress shirts, and two complimentary silk ties (with matching cuff links) thrown in for good measure. We got sized and while they were preparing our coats for the first fitting, we visited a nearby traditional Thai restaurant that Sanny recommended. He gave us a list of some good Thai dishes to order (which were served in the traditional family-style way where each entrĂ©e served two to three people) and had his lead tailor guide us to the restaurant. On the way, we were already starting to get sprayed with water guns and buckets of water, which was what happens during the Water Festival. It’s quite a bit different than what you’d eat at an American Thai restaurant, especially the Pad Thai noodles, but very good. When we finished we had a little bit of time to browse the street-side shops lined with knock-off DVDs, watches, and other merchandise. By the time we made it back to the tailor’s our mock-ups were ready for their first fittings. A few adjustments were made and then we went back to the hotel for the night and went to bed in preparation for another early morning – we were to go back to the shop the following evening at the same time for our pants and shirts fittings and any final adjustments.

The next day’s tour was the River Kwai and Tiger Temple. Our van again arrived at 6:30am and took us to their central building where we transferred to a larger bus with other tourists. This was a longer trip and I turned out to be the only one of us that decided not to bring their iPod, although Chuck was generous enough to share his headphones. We made our first stop at a WWII memorial museum near the River Kwai that contained displays and information about the railway connecting Thailand to Burma that was built using POW slave labor in alliance with Japanese forces – also on the grounds was a grave yard for POW casualties. One of the interesting things I read while in the museum was how the often disgruntled Thai slave drivers would allow the POW soldiers to have private burial ceremonies and would even attend the ceremonies themselves to pay respect. The bridge over the River Kwai (which carried the historic track across the river) met its wartime end after several attempted aerial bombings. The reconstructed steel bridge was the next stop on the tour and provided some great views of the river.

Like every other tourist destination in the country, many tent shops were open nearby. Chuck bought a football-sized wooden elephant head carving and I spotted some decent Ray-Ban replicas and decided to try my hand at some old fashioned bargaining… okay, so this got old really quick, because it generally entailed the same faulty process: make an offer, get given a much higher counter-offer, offer half of that, and then eventually meet somewhere in the middle. Tourism plays a vital role in their economy, so a lot of money is made from exploiting both them and Thailand’s lax regulatory policies. Anyway I managed to swindle a 20 Baht deal (so about $5 or $6) and felt confident with the purchase. Next stop was the Tiger Temple which was both amazing and depressing. There were tons of wild animals all over including a peacock, some deer, and what must have been at least 30 relatively ‘tame’ tigers. By that I mean they fed them these little white tablets the whole time as a bunch of trained volunteers tended them underneath the trees they were chained to. I’m pretty sure they aren’t always chained up, because they have several separate enclosures in the area as well. I was able to touch and get right next to the largest cat in the world and definitely was an unforgettable experience. There was a monk there who apparently lived here and tended for some of the tigers and he took us down to another area where if you paid 1500 Baht, you could get your picture taken with one of the REALLY drugged up tiger’s heads on your lap. All the tiger’s in this area seemed particularly listless and unresponsive – trainers would just drag the tigers by their tails to reposition them and were continually watering them down to keep the cool and hydrated. Below, a tiger kitten is playing with one of the volunteers.

It was another long ride back to downtown Bangkok, where we got dropped off back at the tailors in time for our fittings. We did a little more shopping downtown before going home again for the night. It turned out our hotel was located across the street from the central hub of activity for the Water Festival which was basically lining a small side street called Kosan Road. We walked up and down the strip to check it out and got thoroughly soaked along the way. We stopped for a drink at a bar along the way and went directly to sleep after another long day and in preparation for another.

Day three of the trip was spent in the Floating Markets. Our van today included just one other person, by the name of Rich, but he kept referring to himself as Richie Rich. This was only the beginning with this guy – Rich or Richie or whatever was from California; a retired, sixty-year-old, NWA employee; and self-proclaimed hippie and restaurant owner. He turned out to be one of the more self-absorbed, fake people I’ve met since leaving, but it made things more interesting. He tried really hard to impress us with awkward and unfunny juvenile humor and all of his valuable wisdom about living, retirement, and financial independence (basically, about how great he thought his life was). The tour was beautiful and involved a boat ride through the canals that led to the actual market area. A bunch of houses were built on stilts and elevated above the water along the way and we stopped to look at another large Buddha statue off a short distance to the side of the canal. The markets were also very pretty and full of fresh fruits and more shopping tents.

We left the markets and went to the second portion of the tour at the Royal Rose Gardens, which is an extremely expensive vacation destination outside Bangkok. Here we had some lunch and walked through a few shops before sitting down for an Elephant and Thai Traditional show. I bought another bracelet here which has beads made from fish bone which I found particularly attractive as a souvenir. The elephant show was very cool – both before and after the show I was able to get right up next to and touch the giant, intelligent creatures. I stared at one right in the eye and could really sense an intelligent and emotional being stirring below its surface staring back at me. The Thai traditional show included a small Thai kick-boxing demonstration, as well as the performances of custom dances, sword fighting, and a traditional Thai wedding.

On the way back into Bangkok, we made one final stop at a teak wood-carving shop and watched some really amazing pieces of artwork being made from large pieces of wood. A wide variety of works were for sale at relatively good prices from a respectable source, so I opted to purchase someone a gift here.
We said goodbye to Rich and got our final fittings at Sanny’s shop and discussed plans for dinner. We wanted to wear our new formal wear and have a nice dinner at a quality restaurant, so this time Sanny suggested we go to the rooftop on the 55th floor of a newly constructed hotel in Bangkok. The view was amazing and the place turned out to be very professional and classy with some terrific food. My salmon and drinks turned out to be only about US$40 which is a steal considering the quality – a live piano player and singer performed which was connected to the outdoor patio speakers which is where we were seated.
The next day was Chuck’s last day in Thailand, because he had to be back for a friend that was arriving the next day from the US. We checked out before noon, left our bags behind the counter in the lobby, and went to a very large shopping center downtown (approximately half the shopping size of Mall of America?) and did a little more gift shopping. On our way back, we saw more soldiers and a bus completely burned down to the frame being towed down the street in front of our hotel. When we got back, the King was apparently on his way to our hotel for tea, which I guess he does quite frequently. I believe it is the oldest hotel in Bangkok, and that is the only reason I would see possible for the King frequenting it (and hence called Royal Hotel). While we were in our rooms, some cleaning attendants knocked on our door and asked if someone was standing on our balcony facing the front of the building, because we couldn’t be out there when the King arrived, but they had gone to the wrong room. Anyway, before leaving, we decided to get some Traditional Thai Massages in the bottom floor of our hotel which went at 200 Baht for a 60 minute massage. We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into and I’ll basically leave it at that. I was contorted and bent in ways I didn’t previously consider possible and was asked repeatedly after finishing, “Happy? Happy?” I said, “Yeah, I’m happy, that was good” until after responding for about the third time in a more audible and encouraging manner, she began laughing and shushed me (referring to staff outside the door that might hear me) and I quickly realized what was going on. Making things slightly more awkward, this fifty-plus year-old masseuse stood and talked to me as she watched me change out of the hospital scrubs they had us wear and into my clothes (thankfully I decided to keep my underwear on under the scrubs). It was another memorable and relatively funny event to cap off our time in Bangkok. The four of us got ready and went to the airport where we split ways with Chuck and hopped our two hour flight to Phuket, an island off the south-west coast of Thailand. We arrived at our hotel (Patong Lodge) late at night, got situated, and went to bed.
We woke up late and enjoyed our complimentary buffet breakfast at the last possible minute (stopped at 10am) and casually made our plans for the week. By the time we accomplished this, it was too late to do much besides the tour that our hotel offered, which turned out to be a guy in his own little 1980s, 4-door sedan that spoke very little English. He was really nice though and took us on a decent tour of Phuket and the surrounding areas, including the touristy town of Patong where we were staying. We got some beautiful pictures of the cities from on top of some rolling hills and lookouts and walked through another temple in Phuket. This was nowhere near as grandeur as the Bangkok City Palace, but equally intricate and adorned with jewels and gold. The most interesting part of Phuket to me was all the wild dogs. I have no idea how they got here or multiplied in such numbers, but they are absolutely everywhere – some were healthy, some were emaciated and mangy, and some were quite comfortable around (if not completely oblivious to) people. I love animals, so I had no personal problems with wild dogs running around, and resisted any urge to pet or feed them.

We watched the sunset over the ocean at night which turned out to be amazing and set our feet in the water to discover it was probably 80 or 90 degrees and the warmest sea water I have ever felt. I can’t remember our guide’s name anymore, but we thanked and tipped him for his tour of the city.
Day five was our largest excursion in Phuket – we took a long bumpy van ride through the tropical jungles surrounding us. Phuket is absolutely the most beautiful place I have visited – its natural beauty combined with the exotic culture and unique city centers were awe-inspiring. Once we reached our destination, we split from the main group and started one of two activities we would be participating in at the site. The first was some tame whitewater rafting – we didn’t have to do much and didn’t see anything exceptionally ‘rapid’, but it was my first time and I had a lot of fun. After this, we all convened at the main canopy for lunch and to see videos and pictures that were taken of us during our rafting adventures. Also here was somebody’s little pet monkey chained up out front that we could interact and play with. It was the cutest, most amazing creature I have ever seen and something I always dreamed of doing, so it was a special experience for me. It was just like a little baby human – I had a little bit of water still in my bottle from the trip out so I opened and extended towards the monkey and he immediately recognized I was offering him water. He walked up to me and grabbed my wrist with one little hand, the mouth of the bottle with other, and drank some of the water.

The next and final activity was an elephant ride. By now, I had seen enough of animals in captivity, so I actually just felt bad sitting on the elephant as he trudged through deep mud and thick brush along the same little path that [s]he probably traverses several times each day – I still valued the experience, but I don’t think it’s something I’d do again.
We made one more stop on the way home at a place called the Monkey Cave. This was another awesome experience for me, because this time we were able to interact with real wild monkeys in a relatively natural habitat. These monkeys however, are sustained by the tourists that come here on a daily basis and feed them bananas and peanuts that are for sale at cart stands scattered throughout the small area in front of the rock face which comprises the cave. I bought a little of each and the monkeys would come right up to you and take it from your hand. Some of the smaller and younger ones were intimidate by the elders, but if you approached a group of young ones you could make sure they got some too without a big one scaring them off and stealing it. Some were trusting enough to sit right on your knee and even hold your hand for a little while if you fed it. We had planned on going to a famous carnival in Phuket known as Fantasea, but since the main attraction is the “largest elephant show on earth”, we decided it wasn’t worth the money and opted to enjoy a nice cheap dinner and the Elvis show that was happening in the bar and restaurant in our hotel. It was probably one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen – this awkward Thai performer dressed up as Elvis and actually sang several songs along to the tune of some sort of synthesized polyphonic electrical version of the music. During a rendition of “Are You Lonely Tonight?” he walked around from table to table asking people if they were lonely. There were probably like 12 people in the entire patio, and hardly anybody was paying attention, which made the situation even more humorous to me.

After a couple drinks, we hopped in a thuk-thuk and rode down to the main strip in Patong. We had our dinner at an Italian style restaurant where I enjoyed a tall Heineken and large pizza. Afterwards, we wandered the bustling little town and stopped at several bars and enjoyed some more live American music covers.
We took the next day easy and spent most of the daylight hours at the beach. Although there is no hole in the ozone here, the sun is equally intense seeing as how we were almost directly on top the equator during the hottest time of year. Despite lathering sun screen, we all got a little burned by the time we were done. Jumping in the water wasn’t very satisfying either, considering it was about as warm as the hot water at the hotel. Tonight we had dinner at a different hotel in Patong, which had some good specials on their steak dinners. Here I had my first taste of a Thai beer called Chang beer – it had a fruity flavor, but it wasn’t overbearing and tasted pretty good. We spent the rest of the night at bar called Scruffy Murphy’s which ironically (or not?) the same name of an Irish pub we occasionally go to in Sydney. Anyway, while we were here, we had a firsthand encounter with a prostitution negotiation going on down the table from us. Two Thai girls who couldn’t have been more than 16 years old were pretty blatantly negotiating terms with a 30-some-year-old man who we overheard saying that one of the girls wasn’t “worth 1000 baht”. The drink special of the evening was 120 baht double vodka redbulls so I enjoyed about four of these while observing the situation. We ended up leaving before anything developed, but prostitutes were all over the place, so it really wasn’t that surprising. Employees of the “gentlemen” clubs would go around offering your choice of an entire listed selection (with pictures) of the women of their establishment. We had planned on staying out and visiting a few clubs before going to bed, but we were all pretty tired and decided to get some extra rest since we’d be checking out the next day at 10am.
After checking out, we left our luggage with the receptionist, and wore our swimwear down to the beach where we spent the next few hours killing time before leaving for the airport to catch our evening flight back to Bangkok. I ate some Thai McDonald’s for lunch and now have officially had McDonald’s in four different countries! We went back to the hotel, changed quickly, and since we failed to reserve a taxi in advance, we had to opt for a 40 minute Thuk-thuk ride all the way to the airport. At times I was afraid the little motor was going to give out, but it didn’t and the ride was actually quite scenic and relaxing. We got back into Bangkok pretty late, caught a taxi to the Bangkok Palace where we would be spending our final day, aloed up our burns, and went to sleep.
Of course, we only had until noon the next day to check out, so once again we left our luggage at the front desk. We ate another large complimentary buffet breakfast and spent the day back at the mall. I bought a few more gifts and we went back to the hotel. Our eight hour flight back to Australia left early in the evening (local time) and as usual, I couldn’t sleep at all. By the time we got back to UniLodge, I was exhausted – it was still early in the morning (Monday) and so I took about an eight hour nap before unpacking and resituating. What an amazing trip though – unforgettable.